How to Manage Miscommunication: Intent/Action/Effect
“I’m sure he knew what I meant.” “She knows I was kidding!” Sometimes, even when we have the best intentions, our words and actions hurt people. Maybe someone says something and it feels like a backhanded compliment. Or you respond with a sarcastic comment that leaves a sting. You can fill in the blank with […]
Books to Build Your Conflict Toolkit
I love conflict.* *I love what healthy conflict can teach us about ourselves and the people around us, but even with years of training and experience, I still get anxious during tough conversations. So naturally, it comes up often in conversation with my friends and family. When they ask me, “What should I do in […]
Gottman’s 4 Horsemen, and What We Can Try Instead
When having conflict conversations, it can be easy to engage in behaviours that aren’t actually helpful to the situation. I know it happens to me sometimes, and it can happen in any relationship. Therapist Dr. John Gottman identified four behaviours, which he called the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” that he found to be the […]
Six Conflict Conversation Starters
I can count the number of times I’ve sat in silence with someone, building up the courage to begin a tough conversation. It takes me a few minutes to commit to the conversation, knowing I want to share how I’m feeling and ask them what’s going on for them. In tough conversations, it often takes […]
The Phrase That Will Revolutionize How You Handle Conflict
Have you ever experienced someone putting words into your mouth? Or assuming you did something just to annoy them? How about the other way around? Do you ever assume things about others? When we are in the middle of conflict we are often instinctively defensive of ourselves and sometimes that natural instinct can lead to […]
